Calling a Couples Therapist

Let’s face it...the decision to make that call for your first couple therapy appointment is difficult. So difficult, in fact, most couples wait way too long while reinforcing unhelpful interactional patterns that might have been easier to fix had they started therapy sooner. This is one of the reasons I like to tackle the perceived barriers to therapy and help people feel more comfortable accessing mental health services as soon as they are aware of the need. After all, if you had a diagnosis of cancer, would you wait until it was stage four cancer before seeing an oncologist? Of course not. Don’t let your relationship get to stage four toxicity before calling a couple and family therapist for treatment.

Now that you have decided you want to start couple therapy, how do you choose your therapist? A licensed marriage and family therapist, often seen on a therapy listing as LMFT or MFT, is someone who has a master’s degree in couple and family therapy. Taking a few minutes to read the therapist's biography on Psychology Today or on their personal website should help you decide if this therapist might be a good fit for you.

Hopefully, your first couple therapy session goes well, and you and your partner decide to stick with it. However, if you feel uncomfortable with that therapist, you can be honest; tell them how you feel and ask for a referral to another therapist who has the approach you are looking for. Your relationship with your therapist is very important, and you are the one who gets to decide how to move forward.

- Susan Dow, MS, LADC, MFT-Intern