Since I was a child, my life has been filled with adversities. I was told I would never amount to anything greater than a person running on the streets. However, my adversities did not stop me from becoming resilient. Everyone suffers adversities in their lives, such as stress, abuse, rejection, injustices, and losses, perhaps even traumatic ones. The pain born of such suffering can paralyze us, leaving us broken inside and barely getting by with the motions of life. Whether we remain stuck or move forward is determined in large part by our resilience.
Where does this work begin? First, we need to understand that trauma is primarily physiological. Trauma is something that happens initially to our bodies and then its effects spread to our minds and emotions. Once we can understand pain, can we then recover and heal?
The next step is to know what it means to be resilient. Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, and stressors. As much as resilience involves "bouncing back" from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth. Of course, adversity and trauma are certainly painful and difficult, but they don’t have to determine the outcome of your life. There are many aspects of your life you can control, modify and grow with. That’s the role of resilience. Becoming more resilient not only helps you get through difficult circumstances; it also empowers you to grow and even improve your life along the way.
Lastly, you may wonder if you can find the strength within yourself to becoming resilient. If you are a human living a life, the answer is yes. The strength is already within you! Life is full of adversities small or grand. For example, you had the strength to wake up this morning! The difference is whether you are going to accept the adversities you encounter in your life, like rolling in the ocean’s waves, or are you going to fight it, as if you are surfing the waves.
“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
-Lili Equihua, MFT Student Therapist
To book an appointment with Lili or any of our therapists at Red Rock counseling, click here.